


Endless Blue

by Anubis (fatiguedmona)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Sex, Light Angst, M/M, Nightmares, One Shot, Post-Canon, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 14:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20229448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatiguedmona/pseuds/Anubis
Summary: The events of Christmas Eve haunts the former Leader of the Phantom Thieves...even on a beach trip with his boyfriend.





	Endless Blue

**Author's Note:**

> ***SPOILERS*** for end-game stuff. (Specifically for 12/24)  
Huge thanks to my big bro for the idea and helping me edit!!! You're the best!

_“Is this...truly the end?” Yusuke’s voice shook more than Akira had ever it heard before, even more so than any of the fights they encountered. Akira lunged toward him, feeling himself able to move for the first time after Ryuji and Ann disappeared._

_“Yusuke!” he called. He raised his hand to cup Yusuke’s cheek, but he was too late. Yusuke was gone, only black ashes remained from where he once was. The eyes he stared into just a moment ago before evaporated right in front of him. Akira’s heart sank to his stomach as he found it difficult to breathe._

_“My body...it’s disappearing…” Futaba’s voice was barely above a whisper as she stared at where her hands once were. Despite being terrified herself, Haru reached out toward Futaba, wanting to comfort the girl. But just like Yusuke, she held nothing as Futaba disappeared. Makoto wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, only to sob loudly as Haru was gone too._

_“Haru!” she cried. Her terrified expression landed on Morgana. “Morgana...where did we go wro-” The only two left looked at each other, with nothing but horror in their eyes._

_“Akira...I’m so sorry...is this...my fault? Because I brought you here?” Morgana’s voice was so small and sad, yet it was the only thing Akira could hear. He shook his head._

_“None of this...is your fault, I promise,” he whispered. Morgana looked at him for the last time._

_“I’m so sorry,” was the only thing he could say before evaporating into black ashes. Akira stared on in terror, not even caring about his own disappearing body. He just watched his friends, his family, die._

~~~~~

“Akira!” A loud shout and a firm grasp on his shoulder startled Akira awake. He opened his eyes to be greeted with Yusuke’s face hovering inches above him, his face twisted in concern. “Akira, are you alright?” Slowly sitting up, Akira began to collect his head a bit more, noticing the bed that was definitely not his and the rhythmic sounds of waves hitting the shore, the screams of his dying friends still ringing in his ears.

“Yeah...I’m fine. Thanks, Yusuke,” he mumbled. The long white drapes swayed in the ocean breeze and an easel and half-finished painting stood on the balcony, a far cry from the blood colored sky and giant bones arching over Tokyo. They weren’t even in Tokyo anymore. Yusuke sat down on the bed, moving his hand so that it was interlaced with Akira’s .

“Another nightmare?” Yusuke tightened his hold as he received a grim nod. “What was it about?”

“When we disappeared from reality,” Akira whispered, not trusting himself enough to speak louder without crying. The terrified faces of his friends flashed behind his closed eyes.“I saw it all again...the red sky and the bones...the look on your faces...your screams-” He was cut off by a (rather stiff) hug and he buried his face in Yusuke’s shoulder, wetting his shirt with his tears.

“I’m sorry, Akira,” Yusuke said, his voice low and soft. “But it’s over now.”

“I-I know, but...it’s just...I’m your leader, I led you all there...you all could’ve died and it all would’ve been my fault a-and I just-”

“That was never the case, though.” Yusuke thought he said the wrong thing when this only made Akira burst into tears.

“I know but...” Akira sat up and wiped his tears from his face. Yusuke shook his head.

“We must heal from the wounds of our past, that is what you taught me.” Akira ran his free hand through his perpetually messy hair.

“Yeah I know, but...when I think I’ve put it behind me, it always finds a way to come back,” he whispered. Yusuke let go of Akira’s hand and stared out the window.

“I...know how you feel,” he said, almost absentmindedly. Akira looked through the open balcony doors and noticed the painting once more. It was from Yusuke’s point of view from the balcony; the beach sprawled out below him and the ocean spanning to the horizon where the cloudless sky spread parallel to the sea. Only half of it was finished as the left side remained a pristine canvas with only a few pencil scratches from the beginning sketch.

“Oh shit, Yusuke, I’m sorry,” Akira apologized. Yusuke turned back toward him, tilting his head slightly and narrowing his eyes. Akira continued, “You were painting and I interrupted you.”

“Ah, that. You mustn’t worry, I have integrated taking breaks into my artistic process ever since you forced me to, so it’s no problem.”

“Well, you can go back to painting. I’m okay, I promise.” Akira got up from the bed and started gathering his clothes, which were tossed away carelessly last night. He had no idea how Yusuke could just walk around in nothing but a robe, considering how cold the ocean breeze was. Just walking around naked for a moment sent goosebumps across Akira’s entire body.

“It’s fine, Akira.” Yusuke looked at Akira’s sad expression and returned to looking out the balcony. His gaze remained there for several moments before he abruptly stood up and shed off his robe. Akira looked over in evident confusion as Yusuke strolled over and picked a pair of black pants off of the floor.

“These are my pants,” he announced before stepping into them.

“Yes, they are...and you just...never wear underwear?” Akira asked.

“My budget is far too limited to waste on an article of clothing that I don’t need.”

“Ah...alright. W-where are you going?”

“I’d like a different angle for my painting. Seeing that we are mere meters from the beach, I’d like to take advantage of that. I’ll be back in a few hours, then perhaps we can check out that sushi restaurant downstairs for lunch?” Yusuke talked while putting on the rest of his clothes and grabbing his supplies.

“Oh, right. You want me to come with you?”

“No, that’s okay.” Yusuke shook his head. “You’ve only just woken up; you deserve the time to rest. I’ll be back in time for lunch.” Yusuke walked out the door, his hands completely full with his art supplies. Pulling on a pair of sweatpants, Akira walked over to the balcony to see Yusuke’s figure down below as he turned the corner, out of sight. He leaned against the railing and sighed.

“I must’ve made him uncomfortable...I should’ve kept quiet,” he murmured quietly to himself. The ambiance of the crashing waves and roaring winds rang in his ears as he stared at the beach below. A new sound carried by the wind rang out, various small voices screeching out at once. Akira looked toward the sound; several little kids jumped into the water and were splashing around happily. A couple (their parents, presumably) sat together in the sand, watching their children play. In the back of his head, a small voice wondered if that could be him and Yusuke someday, just relaxing on the beach as their kids played in the water. _‘I don’t deserve that though...I don’t deserve him,” _he thought. _‘Out of everyone on the planet...why would he choose me?’_

~~~~~

With a cup of coffee in his hands, Akira sat on the balcony, seemingly just admiring the view, but in reality, ugly and cruel thoughts swarmed his mind.

_'I almost led my entire team to their death, what kind of leader am I? Why would Yusuke even want a loser like me? What the hell does he see in me? I’m not Joker, not anymore. So why…?’_

Akira genuinely had no idea how long he stayed out on that balcony for, just staring out into the endless blue of the sky and sea, letting his self-loathing thoughts consume him entirely._ ‘I really do fuck everything up, huh? I even drove away Yusuke with my stupid nightmares...what if he never comes back? How could I face the others, or anyone if I chased him away over something like that? Maybe I could just run away...go to America or something. At least I can’t hurt anyone there-’_

A sharp knock at the door drew Akira from his thoughts. Suddenly, the whole of reality came back to him within a flash: the hot sun above, the crashing waves, seagulls flying overhead, the uncomfortable lawn chair he sat in, the empty mug in his hand. His legs were unsteady as he stood up and walked to the door. He set the mug on the countertop as he passed it and unlocked the door. Opening it revealed Yusuke holding all of his paint supplies and a pleased look on his face.

“I have returned.” He walked past Akira and began to set up his easel on the balcony once again. “My time down at the beach proved to be quite insightful.” The painting itself was covered in a cloth, shielding it from view. Akira was only slightly shocked to see Yusuke back. He knew he had been overreacting earlier, but the guilt continued to weigh him down.

“Hey, Yusuke?” Akira said. Yusuke turned around to stare back at him. “I’m sorry...for the stuff I said earlier. I shouldn't have dumped all that on you. I’m sorry.” Yusuke’s face was unreadable as he listened, before softly smiling.

“What a coincidence. I was hoping that we could discuss this matter as well. Take a seat, I have something I must show you.” Confused, Akira sat down at the foot of the bed as Yusuke placed the easel in front of him, the painting itself remaining hidden beneath the cloth. “I was able to finish my painting while at the beach. I decided to make a few changes and I’d like your opinion.” Yusuke quickly removed the cloth, unveiling the painting. Akira felt his heart clench at the sight. It was Yusuke's view from the balcony, the beach, sea, and sky were the same, yet one thing had changed. The once empty balcony now showed Akira leaning against the railing, a soft smile on his face as he looked ahead.

“Originally, I thought to paint the splendid view from the balcony and for the beach to be the main focus. But after you awoke, it made me realize that the view wasn’t complete. The beach was divine to look at, yes, but there was one thing that I’d much rather focus my painting on,” Yusuke said. “It wouldn’t do to have you see me while I painted you. No, I wanted it to be a surprise.” Akira felt the back of his eyes prickle with tears.

“Yusuke,” he breathed, “why did you…?”

“I am painfully aware of my shortcomings when it comes to the emotions of others.” Yusuke trained his eyes on the floor. “It has always been far easier for me to express my emotions and thoughts in other ways. So when you spoke to me this morning, I...was not exactly sure how to respond.” He met Akira’s eyes. “But this is my response to you: I am by your side, both physically and emotionally. Should you need anything, I will do my best to help, even if it is simply lending an ear to your troubles.

“I cannot begin to fathom the hardships you endured for us all last year and I believe we will never truly be able to repay you for that. You faced many demons for our sake; for my sake, specifically. Please, allow me to help you. I am your boyfriend, I want to be there for you, if you’d like me to be.” He sat by Akira’s side on the bed. “I love you, Akira. You have earned my love and affection more than anyone else in this world. Please, never forget that.”

Tears began to make their way down Akira’s face as he pulled Yusuke into a hug. How could he forget how much Yusuke loved him? How loving and supportive he is?  
“Th-thank you, Yusuke. I love you too,” he whispered. Akira looked over Yusuke’s shoulder to the painting. Yusuke will always be by his side. He’ll never have to face his demons alone again.


End file.
